Safer In My Arms
by FullmetalVampire123
Summary: A 16 year-old Sam struggles with her feelings for Carly. Meanwhile, Sam's cousin, Jaxter, shows up to train for Olympic Swimming Trials and Melanie comes home for the summer. Surrounded by her family, what choices will she make? Sam-centric, Cam.
1. I'll Hold Her Closer

Summer.

It's damn hot.

I could probably fucking explode right now.

I am legit on fire.

This is stupid.

"GODDAMMIT MOM WHY DON'T YOU PAY BILLS LIKE OTHER PEOPLE?"

She looked up briefly in surprise as I marched out the door.

Oh, fuck, why did I go outside? This is worse than my stuffy, AC-lacking house!

Of course, for every problem there is a solution.

404 error tank top not found!

I tucked the white wife beater into the back of my basketball shorts, grabbed my sunglasses and my skateboard off the porch, and started to, as my neighbors would say, "get out the ghetto."

After I exited the bad part of Seattle that I called home, I started getting looks. I was self-conscious until I remembered that I don't give a shit and starting making disrespectful gestures at the disapproving pedestrians.

God, there were so damn many of 'em!

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY!"

_That_ cleared a path.

I decided to pull a few tricks on the conveniently placed rails and benches in my path, scaring the living shit out of passer-bys (can shit be alive?).

I saw Freddork and his mother walking along so I made sure to slow down and ride alongside them in all my shirtless glory. They were dressed to the nines in fancy, sun-blocking clothes that covered their whole bodies and looked _really fucking hot_, and I don't mean that in the sexy way.

"Hey, Freddie! Hot out, isn't it?"

He grimaced.

"Samantha, are you wearing sunblock?"

I scowled at my full name and the look of distaste I was getting from Ms. Benson (at least I thought it was distaste; hard to tell with all that shit on her face).

"Hell no!"

And with that final comment, I was cruising again.

Along the way I saw Gibby (also shirtless) and high-fived him. T-Bo was selling cheeseburgers on a stick; I stole one on my way by. It was okay, but really hot, just like everything else today. I decided to grab some water too (also stolen). I slowed down to glance at the headlines on the local newspaper. They all said what I was thinking: It is so fucking hot this week. The sun is like right fucking next to Seattle right now and we are all going to die.

Weathermen were saying it too. I am not the only one complaining.

It just happens to be worse for me 'cause my mom is too much of a lazy shit to pay bills. Like the fucking power bill. You know, the one that _keeps the fucking power on_.

There was only one place I could go to escape the stuffy shittyness of my house. My home away from home. Bushwell Plaza, apartment 8-C. Carly's place.

Not only did Carly live there (that's awesome, by the way) but she has _fucking air conditioning._

Kennedy Square was in sight. I felt like singing, but then I remembered this isn't a musical. This is life.

I smoothly dismounted my skateboard so Lewbert would not scream at me upon entry. I boarded the elevator and went up (duh, why would I go down?).

The sweet, sweet letter-number combination of 8-C was within the reach of my eyeballs. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and yelled "HONEY, I'M HO-OME!"

Sweet fucking air conditioning! Yes! YES!

"Sam, why are you shirtless and victory dancing in the living room?" came an inquiry from my dear, sweet Carly Shay.

"Elementary, my dear Carly: you have air conditioning."

"Since when do you not?"

"Since mom decided that bills were 'totally jank' and that she should just stop paying for our power."

"That's jank."

"I know!"

"But why are you shirtless?" she asked again.

"It's fucking hot, Carls. Gosh."

I hung my tank top and sunglasses on the coat rack and propped my board up next to it, all nice and neat.

"Put a shirt on!" she commanded.

"No! Today is Sam Doesn't Wear Shirts Day!" I protested.

"Please?"

"No! Shirts are for nubs!"

I promptly tripped over her couch.

"AND FUCK YO COUCH!"

With the couch insulted, I raided the fridge for Peppy Cola and found NONE.

"Shay, where is the Peppy Cola?"

"I drank the last one last night. Spencer's out getting more as we speak," she explained.

Speak of the Spence and the Spence shall come.

"I hath returned with sodas! AHHHH SHIRTLESS TEENAGE GIRL!" He leaped backwards and covered his eyes.

"Calm down, Spencer! It's just Sam!"

"Oh. Hi Sam."

"Hola," I responded. I then plucked a can of Peppy Cola right out from under his arm. "Gracias."

"My ass is not grassy- Oh. That was Spanish."

Me and Carly laughed a little.

"Want a sip?" I offered.

"Sure. Drinks always taste better with your saliva in them!" She took the Peppy Cola from me and I decided to show off a little.

"Okay, check this out!" I launched into a handstand and started walking on my hands like a boss. "I can walk on my hands, oh yeah!"

"That's so cool!" said Spencer. "Sam, a girl of many talents!"

It was at this point when Freddie, still clad in sun gear, entered. "Hey Spencer, Carly, Sam."

"Nice outfit, Freddork!" I put my foot in his face. He pushed it away, and I became upright again. Then I flopped down on the couch before he could sit next to Carly.

We spent the rest of the day brainstorming ideas for iCarly and I teased Freddie a lot. He finally left after dinner and I decided I wasn't going home tonight.

"Sam, you practically live here. You have your own drawer in my dresser, your own toothbrush, etc."

"Well, here is home to me. They always say 'home is where the heart is', right? Well, my heart's here," I explained, touching my chest for emphasis. "You and Spencer have been more of a family to me than Melanie and mom ever have. Don't get me wrong; Mel's my sister, _twin_ sister, and I like her, but she's never here. And mom's just... well, mom. She's a fucking asshole."

"Sam!" she scolded. "Language!"

"I speak English, yes."

"Not what I meant," she grumbled. "Let's just go upstairs."

I shamelessly discarded my basketball shorts right in front of her. It was no big deal; Carly had seen me in less than my boxers before. After digging through my drawer and finding nothing but clothes that would only increase my body temperature, I decided my boxers and sports bra were the best sleeping attire for tonight.

"No pajamas?"

"Like I said, it's _fucking hot_, Carls."

She was clad in boyshorts and a cami (bra underneath that, what a shame). Quite scantily clad for Miss Perfect.

"Are you trying to turn me on, Shay?"

"Is that a compliment?"

We flirted without shame. I'm sure she saw it as a game, just another form of my teasing, but most times I was pretty serious. I'd been seeing Carly in a different light for god knows how long. I guess it started a little when we were kids. Ever since my dad left I'd tried to be more of a boy 'cause I'd thought he'd left 'cause I was a girl and if I tried to be a boy he'd come back. After that, it just became natural. I was more interested in being the knight than the princess when we played pretend, the husband instead of the housewife, the robber instead of the cop... Wait, that last one was probably more towards my lawbreaking tendancies. Anways, I remember always going on about marrying her when we were older 'cause that's just what we did. We were kids. We didn't know any better.

I wonder if she remembers that stuff.

Nah, probably not.

... maybe.

"Carls, do you remember what we were like when we were kids?" I asked.

"Yeah. Why? You don't?"

"Nah, I remember it _really_ clearly. Just wondering if you did too."

"Well, I guess so. We've always been attached at the hip, for as long as I can remember. You were always my protector."

I smiled at that. Yeah, I had been. Whenever she needed me, I was there, her blonde knight in shining armor. I was there to beat up the bully, tell off the mean girl, stop the tears, kiss the wounds. I distinctly remember running out of class one day in the fifth grade because I heard she'd gotten beat up. A kid whispered it in my ear after he'd checked his phone and I was fucking out the door faster than you can say ham. The teacher was so shocked he didn't even do anything, no yelling or nothing. I ran straight down to the nurse's office and she was sitting on that stupid squeaky faux leather chair, all bruised and teary-eyed. The first thing out of my mouth was "Are you okay?" and the second was "Who did it?"

Yes and Tydal Shoemaker were the answers I had gotten. Let's just say that Tydal sat funny for the rest of the month.

"Remember when you beat up Tydal Shoemaker?" she asks, and I chuckle a little because I'd just played that whole thing out in my head. "He sat all weird for weeks! What did you do to him?"

"It's a secret," I whispered in her ear. She had sat down beside me while I was reminiscing.

"He still gets scared when he walks by you."

"Yeah, he does, doesn't he."

I noticed that the cami she's wearing gives me a clear view straight down the center of her cleavage. Way to go, Carls. I don't know whether to be happy or mad that she's wearing such revealing clothing. Oh well, it's just me and Spencer. Freddork won't be knocking on the door in the middle of the night.

"Are you staring at my boobs?"

"No..."

Carly shoots me a doubtful look before rolling over on the bed. I lie down beside her, face feeling a little red from being caught.

It's no secret that I bat for the other team. Carly was the first to figure it out and the first I told. Everyone else came afterward and no one was surprised. I guess my slightly masculine demeanor gave it away before I even knew myself.

The one thing that no one, and I mean _no one_ knows is that my big crush is Carly.

Shit, it's gone past just a little crush.

I'm in love with her.

Carly fucking Shay.

Why is my life so fucking complicated? I'm in love with my best friend and I have no idea what to do about it. Do I tell her and possibly ruin our friendship? Do I keep the secret and let it tear me to goddamn pieces?

"I'm tired," she mumbles and rolls over. My eyes trace her curves. Both of us really filled out after puberty, but for some reason she's just so much more beautiful now. I look in the mirror and ask myself why I got so tall and why I'm so damn square and why I have to have such toned muscles and why I'm so bulky and everyone else is so smooth and curvy. I'm not fat. I probably never will be. My metabolism is fucking ridiculous and I just have muscle everywhere. Good looking muscle, mind you, but just _muscle._ Big boobs, yes, but what the hell, _muscle._ Nice stomach, yes, but oh my god _muscle._ Carly has even commented on it before. I don't even work out. Maybe it comes from running from the cops all the damn time? Who knows. It's there and I would probably have to eat the entire ice cream section in Hey, Foods! to lose it. I don't want to lose it either because I can lift the heavy thing and walk on my hands and run faster and longer than everyone else and I can show up Fredweird because he's all flab and no fab.

As for Carly, woah. Just _woah._ The skinny, gangly, awkward looking girl has turned into the epitome of beauty. She's curvy in all the right places and not curvy where she doesn't need to be and she's got a flat stomach and a nice ass and oh my fucking god she has the _best_ boobs I've ever seen in my entire life. No porn star could ever compare with this girls boobs. They're like catching glimpse of heaven and it's probably why I get caught looking at them so much because _I fucking love boobs._ So much so that Carly gave me one of those "Federal Boob Inspector" t-shirts for my birthday last year.

At least it gives me an excuse to spend my day staring at breasts.

But back to Carly. She's just so... so... perfect! Not just in a visual sense but she's so nice and she gets good grades and she stays out of trouble and cares about her friends and she's just an angel.

And the way her body just fits into mine like a puzzle piece when she curls up to me at night is amazing. It's the reason I enjoy being bigger now because she just folds right into me like magic and I wrap my arms around her and I feel like I could protect her from anything and everything. I'm her shield. It could be me against the entire world and I would do it all _for her._

Freddie can declare his love for her every fucking day for the next thousand years but I highly doubt what goes through his head is as marvelous and magnificent as what goes through mind.

And tonight, even though it's hotter than the flames of hell outside, Carly Shay curls up into me in her sleep and I wrap my arms around her because I think she feels safer in my arms.

* * *

**Okay, this started off as a random crackshot in the middle of the night and morphed into a serious fic. I ended up combining it with another idea I had about some of Sam's family members. I'm just wondering about the rating, with all the swearing and whatnot. It's gonna start off as T, but if you guys think I should bump it up, just shoot me a PM or review!**


	2. A New Beginning

Waking up is always the saddest part of sleeping at Carly's. It means that our nighttime connectivity is over and I have to let go for the rest of the day.

Because of this, I usually wake up a little early so I can savor the moments that she's curled up in my arms and her slender legs are tangled up in my slightly bulkier ones.

When she finally does wake up, I don't realize that her face is less than an inch away from mine. I jump a little when her brown eyes flutter open and stare straight into mine. There's a moment of connection there that I can't explain, and then she's untangling herself from me. She's gets out of bed and stands up in the middle of the room to stretch and I can't help but stare at her butt because I'm just now noticing the words "ASS BACON" printed across the back of her boyshorts.

"Where the fuck did you get those?"

Carly smiles over her shoulder. "Hot Topic or something. I thought you'd like them."

Sometimes I swear she just fucking plays with me. "My my, Carly Shay! Such profanities printed across your derrière!" She sticks out her tongue and slips on _my_ basketball shorts.

"Wouldn't want Spencer seeing that, would we?" she asks.

"No, and _my_ shorts are just the perfect way to cover it up, aren't they?"

"Absolutely."

Ironically, we are having bacon for breakfast. Carly and I are laughing our asses off and Spencer is just staring at us wondering what's so funny. I pick up a piece and bite it, and Carly pretends to jump a little as if something bit her ass. We laugh more and Spencer decides to take his bacon to the couch to watch a rerun of Celebrities Underwater.

Freddie knocks on the door around 11 AM. I answer. He scowls.

"I know Carly's in there." I'm apparently blocking his view. Too bad he hasn't hit his growth spurt yet.

"Yeah, it's her apartment. Sup?"

"Can I come in?"

"I don't know, _can you_?"

He grunts in frustration and tries to shove his way past me but I'm too damn cool for that. "Sam, let Freddie in!" Carly calls from the counter. I sigh and let geek boy into my home away from home. He starts blabbering to her about some techie stuff so I join Spence on the couch.

Celebrities Underwater is only interesting to me when the celebrity is a scantily clad female. This morning, I'm lucky. "Kristen Stewart might not have many facial expressions but she has a nice ass," I comment. Spencer nods in agreement. I notice how Freddie isn't paying any attention to the bikini clad babe on the television that's _this_ fucking close to losing her bottom piece and wonder if he's gay or just that devoted to Carly.

Probably the former.

It's just past lunchtime when my mom calls. Me, Carls, and Freddie were chillaxing in the Groovy Smoothies when Joan Jett starts blasting out of my PearPhone. I check the caller ID and groan, but answer since she rarely ever calls me.

_"Your cousin is coming to stay with us."_

Wow, not even a "hello". Real nice, mom.

"Which one?" I ask.

_"Jax."_

Ah, Jaxter Puckett. One of the few Pucketts on the good side of the law. It's mostly because her little brother, Rayne, is a sickly kid and she cares a lot about him. The last time I saw her, Jax was twelve, brown-haird, pale, gangly, and mean. Jax is eighteen now, two years older than me. From the pictures I've seen, she's now over six feet tall, has shoulders bigger than a fucking rhino, and looks like a total surfer dude or something (which is strange because she lives in a rural area nowhere near a beach).

"Why?"

_"Sports, I dunno."_

"How long?"

_"A while."_

My mother continues to astound me with her profound knowledge of why people are coming to stay with us.

"Okay, well, see you at some time or whatever," I grumbled.

_"I want you home tonight,"_ she almost growls.

"Why? We don't have any goddamn power! You want me roast in that circle of hell you call a house?"

_"You haven't seen Jax in six years."_

"I don't give a shit!"

_"She wants to see you!"_

"Fine!" I yell into the phone. "But don't expect me to stay long!" Before she can respond, I hung up. Carly looked at me sympathetically. I begin to explain. "My cousin Jaxter is coming to visit for some reason. I haven't seen her in six years so mom wants me to come by the stuffy hole she's calling a house to see her this afternoon."

"You gonna stay there tonight?" she asks, and there's a longing in her voice I can't quite place, like she wants me to stay with her.

"Fuck no. I don't want to die in my sleep. I'm pretty sure Jax is gonna find a hotel when she sees how fucked up our house is."

Carly smiles, big. I smile a little too. She has that affect on me.

I realized that I'm wearing Carly's shorts and she still has on my basketball shorts. Her shorts are probably a tad bit too small for me because I'm shifting uncomfortably in my seat.

"Will you _please_ give me my shorts back? I have to skate all the way back home and I'm not too keen on doing it in my boxers."

"Just wear those," says Freddie.

"Freddie, let me explain something. How would you feel if you were wearing pants so tight that your dick was literally folding up inside you?" He visibly shuddered. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Fine, Sam, if you're _so_ uncomfortable, I will give you your shorts back." We head back into the bathrooms and both go into the handicap stall so we can switch shorts. I get one last good look at her ASS BACON boyshorts and grin. She playfully slaps me. We head back out.

"Oh, much better!"

"You're such a butt, Sam."

"Yeah, well, I'll be back."

"For dinner?"

"I can try, but I can't promise anything."

"Don't rush," interjects Freddie. "Carly and I will be fine eating together... alone."

"With Spencer," I add. He lightly slams his fist on the table. Forgot about her brother, did you? Moron.

I wave goodbye and head out. I sort of zone out as I take the familiar path home. You can tell when you hit the bad side of town 'cause the pavement gets bumpier than it should be due to all the damn cracks in the sidewalk.

My house is nothing special. Yeah, it's slightly nicer than the others out here. The windows aren't as broken and the paint's not peeling as bad and the shutters aren't as crooked and oh who am I kidding. It's a fucking two story brick mess and it barely stays in one piece. There's no cars on the carport so I can assume that Jax isn't here yet (or someone dropped her off). I prop my board up in it's little spot (no one will steal it because they know whose house this is and not to mess with them) and pull the creaky screen door open.

Mom's curled up on the couch watching reruns of Friends. I guess the power's back (not the AC, though, for some reason). When I enter she turns to look at me and I scowl at her. She frowns and goes back to watching television. I fuck around the house for an hour before the doorbell rings. Mom's knocked out in her bedroom.

"Yeah, yeah, come in!"

The door creaks open and in steps Jaxter Puckett.

She _does_ look like some kind of beach bum.

"Hey, Sam. Or Mel. Whichever one you are," she says awkwardly. Her voice has gotten _deep_, man. Or was it always that low?

"Sam, duh. Do I look like Melanie?"

"Uh, no." She stands there in the doorway, shifting her weight back and forth from one muscled leg to another. Looks like I'm not the only Puckett with an overly muscular physique. Maybe it runs in the family (if so, did Mel lose her hot bod too?).

"So, mom has absolutely no idea why you're here. Enlighten me?"

"I'm swimming now, and I came here to practice for Olympic Trials. There's a better training facility here," she starts. "Rayne wanted me to do it because he couldn't, and it turns out I'm a bit of a natural. I'm so good my coach wants me to push it and go for the Olympics."

"Oh yeah, that's this summer."

"Yeah." I can tell she's starting to sweat, and she has good reason to. I'm getting fed up with our shitty air conditioning.

"Look, you showed up, I saw you, we had a conversation, I'm leaving," I say.

"To go where?"

"Carly's."

"Oh yeah!" she exclaims. "I almost forgot! I'm a big fan, would it be okay if I can drop by tomorrow?"

I think it over for a moment.

"If you can find the apartment."

"I have a great sense of direction."

I wave casually and run out, hitting the streets once more.

When I get to Carly's, she's sitting on the couch watching Girly Cow. Spencer is making a weird-ass sculpture out of wine glasses.

"What goes on?"

"Hey, Sam. Nothing much."

"I'm making a wine glass out of wine glasses!"

I can't help but laugh a little at his antics. At least this one won't catch on fire.

Me and Carls snuggle up on the couch. We watch TV for a while until both of us can't keep our eyes open any longer. She tells Spencer we're going to bed and we go up in the elevator 'cause we're too lazy to take the stairs.

I flop over on the bed, still wearing the same clothes I had on yesterday. I'm a little irritated that I forgot to get new clothes while I was at home, but I have some in Carly's dresser.

It's hot again, so I strip down to my skivvies and lay on top of the covers. Carly steps out of the bathroom in the same thing as last night, just different boyshorts.

"And what do these have on the back?" I joke. She spins around and there's a picture of Pikachu on her ass today.

"Freddork would probably like those more than I do."

"You loved Pikachu!"

"When I was ten!" I countered.

"You got into fights over the cards!"

"Stop bringing up my nerdy past!" She had been standing over me, so I grabbed the front of her tank top and yanked her down onto the bed. I quickly rolled over and straddled her, holding her wrists down on the bed.

"What're you gonna do about it?" she asked in a mocking tone.

"This!"

My hands flew down to her stomach and a massive tickle fight ensued. She knew she couldn't get me off her so she just lightly hit me and laughed. When it was over, we laid down side by side, breathless. I was a bit red from all the physical contact.

"Okay, now I'm too awake," she said between breaths.

"Yeah, me too," I responded. "We could go back downstairs and chill with Spencer."

"Nah, how about we just do this?"

And before I could even ask her what "this" was, Carly had curled up into me and wrapped her arms around my waist like I was a teddy bear or something. I slipped an arm around her and started to stroke her hair with my free hand.

"My cousin's gonna drop by here tomorrow," I mumbled.

"That's cool," she says nonchalantly.

I didn't realize that we had fallen asleep until I woke up.

Carly was still holding me in a death grip, chest rising and falling with every breath she took.

_Chest._

_Boobs._

I mentally slapped myself.

Sun was trying to sneak in through the thick curtains, so I knew it was daytime. A glance at the clock confirmed that; it was around ten. After a few minutes, the brunette started to wake up. I resisted the urge to tighten my grip on her.

We untangled ourselves from each other, went downstairs, had pancakes, and laid back down on the couch. It was Saturday, which meant we had iCarly tonight, which meant Freddie would come barging in any moment.

"Hey, Carly, Sam!"

Speak of the nerd. "Yo, nub."

"Sam!"

"Oh, c'mon Carls!"

The geek started to ramble on and on about some shit I didn't care about so I just tuned him out and turned my attention to the TV. When he finished, we got dressed and discussed the show. After a short rehearsal, someone knocked on the door. I knew it was probably Jax, so I went over to get. Lo and behold, it was her. "Carly, Freddie, this is my cousin, Jaxter." From the look on her face, Carly had probably been expecting someone younger and less than six feet tall.

"Hi! Me and my brother Rayne are big fans of the show. Please, call me Jax."

They shook hands and all that jank.

"So, why are you in Seattle?" asked Carly.

"Well, I'm a swimmer. I'm trying to make a qualifying time for the Olympic Trials."

"That's cool! How good are you?"

"Pretty good, if I do say so myself." She launched into a big spiel about how much time she spends working out and all this shit I don't care about too much. Carly seems interested. I just sort of stand there and attempt to listen.

"Maybe you could come on the show and tell our viewers about it!" Carly suggests suddenly. "What do you think, Sam?"

I can't disagree with her and Jax seems so excited about it so I just nod in agreement. Besides, if Jax _does_ qualify for Trials and make it into the Olympics, maybe we could get ourselves some tickets to London or something.

"If I make Trials you guys could come do a live show from Omaha!" she says excitedly. "You could possibly talk to Michael Phelps..."

That sealed the deal.

That night, we did our normal shtick until Carls called out Jax.

"Say hello to Sam's cousin, Jaxter!" I press the applause button on my remote as Jax runs into the studio, waving.

"Jax is a swimmer, and she's here in Seattle trying to qualify for the Olympic Trials!"

"If you don't know what that is..." I start. "Google it because we're too tired to explain!"

Jax steps up to the camera. "If I make it, I promised to take the iCarly crew to Omaha for Trials. If I make the Olympics..." She paused for effect and we looked at her. "I'll get you guys tickets for London!"

I pressed the applause button again and we all jumped and screamed and got excited. "So, there you have it! We're counting on you, Jax!" We sent her off and finished up the show with Baby Spencer. Afterwards, we were all chilling in the kitchen, eating spaghetti tacos like bosses.

"You'll really take us to London if you make it?" Freddie asks for the gagillionth time.

"Yeah! You, Sam, Carly, _and_ Spencer!"

Spencer squeals a little, spitting pasta everywhere. "I can see the Eiffel Tower!"

We looked at each other. Carly was the one to break it to him. "That's in Paris, Spencer."

"Oh. What's in London?"

"The queen of England!"

"THE QUEEN!" he shouted excitedly. "I CAN SEE THE QUEEN!"

After dinner, Jax excused herself. "I shan't not overstay my welcome, gentlemen," she said with an English accent.

"Aw, you're always welcome," said Carly. "You're offering to take us to Omaha _and_ London!"

"Nevertheless, I should totes go back to the house. I left all my stuff there. Sam, you staying?"

"Duh," I said. "Wait, on second thought, I think I might want to talk to you a bit. Can you go one night without me, Carls?"

"Oh, however shall I live?" she said in fake dramatic say.

"No worries, I'll be back tomorrow."

"When are you never not here?"

"When I'm not," I said and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before following Jax out the door.

"What'd you wanna talk about?" she asked as she hailed a cab.

"Oh, stuff. I'll wait till we're home."

We rode back in awkward silence. The cabbie hesitantly dropped us off. Jax paid the fare. "So, talk," she said, once inside my room with the door closed to the best of its abilities. "I'm all ears."

"Well..." I was going to tell her about Carly. Jax was relatively trustworthy and I /really/ needed to talk about this. It was fucking eating me from the inside out. "I like... No. I love Carly."

"I know."

What. The actual. Fuck. "What do you mean you fucking know?"

"It's kinda obvious, bro."

Oh my fucking god, is it? Am I that obvious that even my dense-headed athletics obsessed cousin notices it?

"Augh, seriously?"

"Yeah. Everyone can tell that you two have some deep chemistry, but it takes a good eye to really see that you like her. Besides, I have excellent gaydar. It's how I met my girlfriend," she explained.

I collapsed. Jesus shit. Motherfucker. Blargh.

"You should tell her."

"WOAH, HOLD THE FUCK UP. I can't do that! I'll ruin our friendship if it doesn't work out!"

"You'll ruin it if you _don't_ tell her! This bullshit will eat you alive until you can't stand to be around her anymore!"

Well, that was true. I twiddled my thumbs and looked around awkwardly.

"I'm issuing an ultimatum. You have to tell her or I will beat the shit out of you," she said ominously.

"You think you can take me?" I challenged, standing up. I was pretty tall, standing at around five foot ten.

Jax was taller. Jax was also huge.

"Damn, how tall are you?"

"Six foot four," she said calmly.

"HOLY SHIT! Are you on drugs?" I asked, astounded.

She just rolled her eyes. I was now confident that if I didn't do what she told me to, there was an eighty percent chance she would tear me to pieces. I might be big and muscular, but I don't usually work for it. She's naturally strong _and_ she works out. The scales were tipped in her favor, dammit.

"Alright, fine. I'll tell her."

"Tomorrow."

"Aw, fuck you!"

"No complaining! Do it or die!"

"Just get out of my room!"

* * *

The next day I was back at Carly's. Freddie was off doing something stupid with his mom and Spencer was shopping at Hey, Foods! so we had the place to ourselves. Jax had offered to come with me for support but I denied her that privilege so she was off playing World of Warcraft with her brother or something shit like that.

It was kind of awkward. I kept opening my mouth to say something but closing it before I could.

Carly was confusing me. It seemed like she was sending me signals, but, then again, we had always been the touchy-feely kind of friends. Still, we're sixteen now. It's almost like she's flirting with me in a way.

I swallowed my fears. It was now or fucking never. "Carly, I have something to say."

She seemed to notice that I was being pretty serious for once. "Alright, go ahead. You know you can tell me anything."

I was so nervous I was almost shaking.

"Carly... I..." Dammit, words, stop getting caught in my throat! "I love you. More than a friend." I had the worst feeling in my stomach after I'd blurted that out and she just stared at me blankly. It was like that for forever. She was completely frozen.

"Please, say something," I pleaded. "Anything. Scream at me, get mad, I don't care."

"I... I don't know what to say," she finally stuttered. "I think... I've had this feeling for a long time that there was something between us that other best friends didn't have. Something more than that, but I just played it off as normal. We've always been close, closer than others. I just... I don't know about this, Sam, I don't know."

My heart was all over the place. My chest felt like it was going to explode. I was nauseous but I knew I wouldn't be able to throw up.

"Sam, this doesn't mean I hate you," she said after noticing my distress. "I just need to think about it for a while, alright?"

Unable to say anything, I just nodded. Carly tried to touch the side of my face, but I pushed her hand away. "I'll just... go. I'll go do something. Call me or whatever," I said. And then I left.

It was raining. The first time all summer. It was still pretty damn humid, though.

At least in the rain you couldn't tell I was crying.

God, that sounds so fucking emo.

After I let it all out, I called Jax. She was at the local aquatic center, so I got directions and made my way over there. When I got there, I didn't recognize her at first, what with the laytex cap and goggles on. She waved me over, though, so I went and crouched down by the lane she was swimming in. She popped off her goggles, looked up at me and asked "How'd it go?"

I started to feel sick just thinking about it. "She got confused and said that she would think about it."

Jax frowned. "Sorry, kiddo. She wasn't mad, was she?"

"Nah, just a little shocked. Still..."

"I know, I know." She gave me a relatively wet pat on the shoulder with the arm she wasn't holding herself up with. "Look, let me finish up here and we can go get a smoothie or something."

I started to stand up and leave, but Jax stopped me.

"Wait! I want you to meet my girlfriend! Trust me, she's really nice!"

"She can't be too smart if she's dating you," I snarled.

Jax put her goggles back on and swam over to another lane to stop a girl swimming laps in it. They talked for a second, and then both of them headed back over to the wall where I was squatting. "Sam, meet Saemie."

The other girl, now known as Saemie, removed her cap and goggles, revealing reddish hair and green eyes. She smiled up at me and extended her hand.

"I'm here training for Trials with Jax and our buddy Ryker-" She pointed over to another lane where a guy with a mess of black hair was training. "-and his gymnast boyfriend, Ross. He's at the gym right now, obviously. So, you're the infamous Sam. You look pretty tough."

I flexed one of my arms, showing off a little muscle. She laughed a little.

"You're built tough. I like that."

"Yeah, it helps when you're running from the cops all the time."

She chuckled.

"Alright, Sae, how about we entertain Sam a little? Get Ryker and we'll run a 100 fly." Jax clambered out of the pool while Saemie swam over to get Ryker. "Alright, Sam, you're gonna start us. When we're all lined up behind the blocks, you say 'Swimmers, step up' then, when we're all up on the blocks, say 'take your mark' and after we all get ready, say 'go'! Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm not five."

Saemie said something to a lifeguard and he nodded back to her. They all got lined up.

"Swimmers, step up," I said, just loud enough for them to hear. "Take your mark..." Every muscle in their body tensed up when they grabbed on to the front of the block. "Go!"

They _exploded_ off the blocks. It was an amazing feat of strength, like watching missiles shoot off. They all dove in to the water with the smallest splash possible and kicked under the water. When they emerged, I was mesmerized. Jax had gone on and on about how butterfly was supposed to be one of the hardest strokes because you had to be powerful to swim it; she was right. With every stroke, their arms pushed down and then up out of the water, then right back in. It was a fluid movement, and very cool to watch. They were doing these rhythmic dolphin kicks and it was just _so fucking cool_. I could never do it, I'll admit that.

I'd forgotten they were racing each other until they hit the wall and turned around. On the way back, Jax was in the lead, but Saemie and Ryker were right behind her, fighting for second. Saemie looked like she was dying out a little, and Ryker too, but Jax just _kept going_. I was starting to realize why her shoulders were so big; she did this all the time.

Jax finished first, and it looked like Sae and Ryker tied.

"You only won 'cause I wasn't wearing a cap!" yelled Ryker. Jax stuck out her tongue at him.

"Hey, Sam! We're gonna rinse off and we'll all go get smoothies, okay?"

"Sure! I chill upstairs in the lobby!"

I retrieved my skateboard from the front desk and sat down in the lobby. After ten minutes, the trio of swimmers emerged from the stairs. Jax was wearing a dorky swim t-shirt and black basketball shorts with MARLINS in yellow on the sides, Ryker had on khaki cargo shorts and a blue and black striped tank top with knockoff Ray Bans, and Saemie was dressed in baggy denim shorts and a fitted shirt with long red sleeves and a pixilated broken record on the front. A pair of aviators were perched on top of her head. All of them were wearing flip flops and had big equipment bags slung over their shoulders.

"Let's roll!"

The rain had let up and we walked at a leisurely pace (well, I rolled alongside them) to the Groovy Smoothie. After we were all seated, I talked to Saemie about how she met Jax and whatnot. In the middle of the conversation, my phone vibrated, telling me I had a text. It was from Melanie.

"Yo, Jax. Melanie's coming home for the summer," I announced.

"For real?"

"Totally. She'll be here tomorrow around four. At least, that's what her text says."

"Neat-o. More little cousins."

After a few more minutes, my phone rang. I checked the caller ID.

Carly.

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. I answered the call and stepped away from the table.

_"Hey."_

"Hey."

_"Will you come back? I want to talk."_

I froze up for a second, my insides doing cartwheels.

"Yeah, be there in a few." I hung up before more could be said, then turned to the swimming trio. "I'll see you guys later, gotta go."

"Carly?" Jax questioned. I nodded softly and walked off.

* * *

Spencer was gone again. Carly was sitting nervously on the couch. She stood up and faced me when I came in. "I thought about everything," she started. "I'm sorry I was so distant earlier, I was just confused."

"That's okay," I said warmly.

"Thanks. I just... I don't know quite how to put it in words, so I hope this will be okay."

Before I could say anything, she kissed me. It took me a minute to realize that this was real life and Carly motherfucking Shay was actually kissing me _on the goddamn lips._ I let my arms move from their original positions in the air beside my head to wrap around her waist and pull her closer, deepening the kiss.

When we finally pulled away from each other, we were flushed and breathing heavy.

"I guess I realized it when I thought about every guy I've dated in the past and how they would always hug me and tell me that I was safe and that they would protect me, and then I'd come home and curl up with you and feel safer in your arms than I did with them," she explained. "Besides, I've never felt a spark like that in a kiss with any guy. I think I love you too, Sam." She buried her head in the crook of my neck and I rubbed her back soothingly while shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

"It's okay, cupcake, it's okay." I kissed the top of her head. When she finally stepped back from me, I smiled. "Carly, you have no idea how happy I am. This is like every dream I've ever had come true. I don't know when I started feeling like this but it feels like it's been forever and I really do love you and I'll hold on to you till the end of time and I'll do anything for you. I'm yours."

The rest of the night was amazing. I couldn't believe that the girl of my dreams loved me back. The most beautiful girl I'd ever seen was in my arms, telling me she loved me.

That night, when she wrapped her arms around me and I wrapped mine around her, I kissed her forehead and fell asleep thinking about her and only her.

* * *

**This was up pretty fast because I'd already had it typed up on my iPad. The only reason it wasn't posted immediately is because I don't have the options for bold or italics on my iPad and I have to manually fix that on my computer before the chapter is posted, otherwise there would be a bunch of words in between slashes.**

**As I said before, if you think the rating should change, shoot me a PM or a review.**

**I'm starting school on Monday and since I'm taking harder classes I won't have as much time to write or draw. I'll still try to update every now and then but I can't promise that I'll be spitting out chapters and oneshots every few days like I have been.**


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